Wednesday, May 2, 2007

pooped in bathrooms

when i was a kid, my brother would make fun of me for going to the bathroom. i don't mean shitting and pissing. he would make fun of me for -going-. getting up from dinner and using the bathroom. he claimed that i went so often that i couldn't be actually using it every time, he thought i just wanted to see the bathrooms. i don't know why he would think this. maybe he didn't understand the concept of 'pissing like a girl' (as in often). but in retrospect, i don't think i went all that excessively. and i was never just checking out the bathrooms. not back then. but, i mean, we were in restaurants. why wouldn't i have to pee? but he would always say something. but i guess that's what brothers are for. and to be totally honest, i'm not sure which brother it was. feels like all of them but i know it wasn't andy. it could have been just dom. or just dave. or both. but i have no idea.

some of you may know that i hate going to the bathroom. again, not the pooping or peeing parts (though that can be uncomfortable, depending on what i've been eating), but the -going- part. and while it may seem like that has something to do with my story about my brother, i don't think it does. i just find it really inconvenient to stop whatever i'm doing and go to the bathroom. so i put if off a lot. that is, often. and for a long time. i'm trying not to do that so much anymore, because i know it's not that good for my bladder. but so far i've had a pretty strong bladder, at least as compared to the folks i hang out with.

i think about bathrooms a lot though. i dream about bathrooms way more than a normal person should. usually because i have to pee. but whenever i'm in a really nice bathroom, like at The Pub in williamsburg, or a bathroom with some notable amenity, like sanis toilet seat cleaner, i think about making a public restroom guidebook. i think about making guidebooks a lot actually. and i think about making Al's Guide To Touring, and there is a whole chapter in this imaginary guide about bathrooms. apparently i'm obsessed with bathrooms and didn't realize. another bathroom related project i fantasize about is making stickers ranting against women squatting in public restrooms with the seat down. lift the seat, folks! i would put the stickers up in every bathroom where i found pee on the seat. or maybe every bathroom.

another thing that makes me want to talk about bathrooms is my menstrual cup. because different bathroom set ups are better or worse for emptying and cleaning it. last tour, i dropped that sucker in the toilet. luckily it was my last day (of menstruating, not of tour) and i didn't need to put it back in. (also, i know that's gross, but it's silicone so i sterilized it). i -think- mort (my period, mortimer menses) is due on this tour. he comes pretty much every tour. ah, timing.

anyway, where am i going with this? well last tour i decided i wanted to make a zine a la that guy from the yeah yeah yeahs book, slept in beds. pooped in toilets. except i think he wrote poems or something (i haven't read it, maybe it's just photos. also, who sleeps in beds on tour? slept on floors makes more sense. slept in vans.) and i'm going to write reviews. i decided to do a blog because if i say i'm going to do a zine when i get home, i just won't do it. this way i'll be motivated to keep going. and if i make a zine out of it in the end, cool.

so here is it. my tour bathroom blog. it's day 2 of tour (this leg of it anyway) and i decided to keep a blog of all the bathrooms i use. i was going to review each one. i'm trying to decide if they should just be bathrooms i actually poop in or all bathrooms i use. thing is, i haven't pooped yet on this tour.

there are so many decisions to be made about this sort of thing. do i just do this on my lj? do i start a separate lj? blogger? then i decided not to review bathrooms in people's houses, because that's rude. but i'll take pictures maybe. unless there's a lot of personal stuff. i can ask i guess.

so far i've used 3 public restrooms and no private restrooms on tour. what i didn't realize until the platekill rest area on the ny thruway is that the logistics of photographing a large multi person bathroom. because there are other people in there. and i think they don't want their picture taken. i think these would be great shots though. long exposures that show the people moving around. you know you want that. but i don't want to get in any fights. so i just took a pic of the toilet. it's pretty boring. the picture.

the second bathroom i went in was at suny oneonta in the fine arts building. and i ran out of room on my camera so i had to take phone pics. sorry. i'll get the kinks ironed out. eventually.

the third bathroom i was in, just now, i forgot to take pictures. oops. it wasn't terribly interesting, but it was the first single occupancy bathroom i've been in so far. it just slipped my mind.

ok, so, enjoy!

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